When a friend or family member calls me and they want to talk about a problem or issue that’s bothering them, I offer three options. One, I tell them I can listen and respond with what I’m really thinking. Two, I can listen and just give them positive feedback. And three, I can just listen. […]
active listening, Listen, Listening
If you reflect on who the friends are that you have, that you feel most close to, I bet that they are people who listen well. And that just tends to be the case because we feel more connected to people who really listen to us, but what do you do when you have a […]
Friend, Listen, Listening, listening skills
When I was a kid, there was a cartoon called,” The Hillbilly Bears”, and one of the bear’s grandpas would mumble and grumble when he started talking and you couldn’t really make out what he was saying until the last few words. Sometimes, in life, it can feel like people don’t catch the first few […]
Listening, listening skills, The Hillbilly Bears, tips
In his excellent book Listening with the Third Ear, the analyst Theodor Reik makes the point that sometimes people who seem to be seeking advice or actually looking for permission to do something they’ve already decided to do. You will know that’s happening when someone who comes to you with advice already has a solution, […]
Communication, Listening
When you are in a leadership role, you are frequently in the position of giving other people critical feedback. And in criticism, as in comedy, timing is everything. When you’re giving constructive feedback (including positive feedback, although I’m focusing on constructive criticism below), try to give that feedback as soon as possible. Here’s why: The […]
Coaching, constructive feedback, Feedback, Listening
It’s amazing how much the presence of just one person can influence a team. If the person has a negative influence, teams are often relieved when they leave and may regroup without much help from leaders. It’s much trickier, however, when a highly respected, well-liked employee leaves. Depending on their reason for leaving, employees may […]
Feedback, Popular employee, Team
If you’re like me, you have probably found that the people with whom you feel closest are also the best listeners. And although outstanding listeners do it seemingly effortlessly, as a recent article in Entrepreneur points out, there are some common issues that tend to characterize ineffective listening. Here are just three of the ones […]
MY FRIEND JONAH DOESN’T like conference rooms. That’s why he’s held client meetings at Wegman’s. And Barnes and Noble. And a nearby donut shop. He meets with his staff at a local Texas Roadhouse they call by a code name: “Meeting Room T.” In fact, Jonah would rather meet anywhere than in a corporate conference room, and […]
A word is worth one coin; silence is worth two. – The Talmud Years ago, I had a colleague at work who planted his Jumbotron-sized computer monitor on his desk so it blocked his view of anyone sitting across from him. He might as well have taped a sign on the back of the monitor that […]
I’m all about listening. And I’ve found that the more I focus on it, the better I do it. I’ve also noticed, as I’m sure you have, too, that the more gadgets we have and are paying attention to, the less attentively and effectively we listen. It’s not uncommon for me to talk with people […]
